Why can't you listen to me?
Why can't you leave your clothes on for more than 10 minutes? Why can't you stop pushing your sister over? Why do I have to repeat myself 10,000 times? Why did you do that? Why can't you finish your dinner? Why did I even bother making dinner? Why can't you listen? I'm tired of asking questions to a brick wall, ears are painted on in this house, They don't work and its making this parenting gig pretty shitty right now. Your behaviour should be used as birth control for perspective parents. I might go bald you guys... Do I change my parenting style? Am I too hard? Too soft? Too angry? Too busy? Do I listen to you? Do I listen? Probably not how I should. Do you feel heard? Probably not how you need to feel heard. I know I talk for you most of the time, I dress you, I feed you, I wipe your butt.. I know you love your independence. So do I. I'm sorry for doing that, for taking your independence away. I'm sorry for not listening. I can try harder and maybe you can help me out by doing the same. Stop growing up, you are scaring me. I'm scared when I think about the future. Who will you be? What kind of person will you become? Will you take the time to listen to me when I need it? I hope so. S x
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Social media has taken motherhood rivalry to the next level and we're all to blame. I post photos like this and it looks like we have a perfectly perfect breakfast out with our son. It looks like we had a lovely morning, eating at our fave cafe and nothing in the world can bother us. What you don't see is the fact he didn't even eat most of it. What you don't see is the tantrum he threw when we said he couldn't get a bubble drink at 9:30 am. What you don't see is two tired parents too lazy to cook breakfast on Saturday. What you'll never see is two broke parents with -$ in the bank and a tiny shred of sanity left. You see the fun bits, the parts that make us look like insta-parents that you should be jealous of. Those insta-mums who have the best prams, the teething necklaces you don't ever wear, the yoga pants that cost $74.99 and always have a cafe coffee in their manicured hand. Put your hand up if you have ever looked at someones facebook or instagram and thought to yourself "Oh, I wish I had that" or "I wish I could do that". I know I have, I do it all the time. I'm a serial stalker of people that I've made out (in my mind) to be "better mothers" than me. Its just not real and comparison is the thief of joy! If we all took snapshots of the best bits of our lives, it would look amazing from the outside. Thats what social media does for me. It makes me look glamorous. Facebook makes my life look exciting. It gives people the fake version of me. I'm actually weird and not many people like the real Sarah. Think about what your life looks like from the outside? What kind of person are you? Authentic or just another social media pretender? If I posted what my life was actually like day-to-day you'd be bored to tears. Actually.. most of this blog contains what I do and someone seems to read it lol. Take down your expectations of what motherhood is and you won't be shocked when you become one. We're all real people and our shit stinks too. Aaaaah, the life of luxury.
Luxurious laundry, luxurious nappy changing, luxurious fat pants and sports bras! Being a stay at home mum is a luxury. Say what? No, not the type of rolex wearing, champagne popping (although this does happen when we SAHMs get frisky), drippin' in ice, VIP type of luxury. The type when only a small % of New Zealanders can actually afford to stay at home with their children. I know that I complain, in fact I'm a serial complainer and a spoiled, undeserving bitch. Poor me, my husband works insane hours so I can stay at home. I have the money to do what I need to, to eat what I want to, to go where I have to. Poor me, I have to do laundry and vaccuming, I have to cook meals and give the kids constant attention. I have to remember that I chose this, I chose to be a mother. All those times I day dream.. when I think to myself.. Oh I could have been this or could have done that. Next time, I'll shake it off and remember that being a mother doesn't mean the end of anything. It is only the beginning! I wont get offended when people ask me "what I do all day". You know what bitch, I stayed in my pj's and watched Mean Girls on netflix. JUDGE AWAY. Yes, my son is eating porridge for dinner. YES, I do have mashed veges in my hair and my fanny isn't waxed or "vagazzled". I wont nag my husband when he comes home from work because I want him to do things around the house. He has a job, I've got a job and thats it. I just thought of a really great idea**. A Tinder for mums to find other mum friends, that would be super great. I would put in my BIO something I thought was witty.. but probably makes me look like a psychopath. "Mum of two, drinks wine (or anything really), eats pizza, can pee in public camp ground, average looks and above average dance moves to sexy music or children's nursery rhymes." Do you think I'd get many swipes? lol.. probably not. Sayonara. S x **Great is a stretch Marriage isn't all fun and games. As a self confessed attention seeker, I'm not ashamed to say that I miss the attention of other people. I miss being pretty. I'm sick of being a fat wife. I hate being comfortable. I want to be wanted. I want to dance and I'm sick of cleaning up after ungrateful toddlers. I hate wearing oversized, ugly, food-covered t-shirts and leggings. I want to wear a dress so tight it hugs my ass-cheeks. I want to be beautiful and it isn't happening right now. Is the grass really greener on the other side though? Probably not. My husband and I are going through a thing right now. We have become complacent and lazy. Our life together has become ships passing each other in the night. We stopped spending time together and our marriage has become somewhat of a convenience rather than the privilege it's supposed to be. After 5 years together, we've become totally different people and thats ok. We are both changing and still have a lot to learn. I straddle the line between wanting to stab him in the face and wanting to rip his clothes off.. Take me as I am ;) ha! We've talked more than we ever have in the last few weeks, things are slowly improving after some heavy questions and a bit of soul searching. We forgot to say "I love you", we stopped holding hands, we stopped laughing.. But we're bringin' it back baby! For everyone that is going through something with your partner or your husband/wife.. Take the moments as they come, however few and far between they are! Remember the times you were happy. Remember your first kiss, all the hand holding, the waist grabbing, the first time he said "i love you", the trip you took to hot water beach before life got in the way, the time you needed a lime ice block because you were 8 months pregnant and he brought the wrong one back.. but you still ate it because you love him..Every time you had the warm, fuzzy feeling in your tummy, think of that. Marriage is hard, you have to consciously fill up the box you have. For everyone who married young, or if you plan to.. Get ready because shit is about to get real. There will be tough times, there will be amazing times and there'll be those times where you are in between. Its not a fairytale. Plan for the hard times, revel in the good ones. You’ll be tempted to invent an alternative life for yourself, the one that you might have had if you didn't get married young. It will look shiny and exciting from where you sit, surrounded by laundry and all the other bullshit of normal life. But this is just a trick of the mind. Life is hard no matter where you live it, no matter who you live it with. "Don't worry, be happy!" It's been real. Thanks for reading my blog posts if you've been following me.. There are some people out there who think I can't read and don't know they are copying my blog.. I'll leave it up to you to write the rest. S x I'm obsessed. It just sounds so good. NZ just doesn't do cool things like this lol. I need to become a high school music teacher so I can make a group like this lol! Or... not, because teenagers are the worst. #Dreamsarefree |
About me
Sarah. Mother. Wife. Daughter. Adrenaline auto injectors are not funded in New Zealand, Please sign the petition to change this. Our family is affected by anaphylaxis as are so many others. You can make a difference!
Search through my old posts here
August 2016
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