Go on, play it! Its great while you're reading. My house always looks like we were robbed by the seven dirtiest dwarfs. I have banana squished in to my carpet and everytime I look at it, my eyes water with hatred towards squishy food.
Baby food sucks! Babies can't hold food in their mouths so it just goes everywhere! Its slimy and mushy and weird brown colour makes me feel ill. My vacuum cleaner is broken so now I'm stuck trying to steal my mum's vacuum from next door.. But they're always using it. In the previous post I touched on the snow storm Noah created in my living room. I'm still trying to scrape Johnson & Johnson out of my scalp. The smell reminds me of baby asshole and it's just overwhelming to my nostrils now. When I was in high school, my mother used to leave a list of tasks for my sister and I to complete when we got home. Like all good procrastinators, I mastered the art of doing everything at the last minute. If we knew she was going to be home at 5:30, we'd jump on Facebook and eat the entirety of the pantry and fridge before even thinking about trying to clean up. I think I deserve a medal for how fast I can vacuum a house to inspection standard. Maybe underneath the couch had a bit of grunge build up but my mum never checked there. At 5:15 we'd look at each other and fear for our lives because we knew all hell would be unleashed if we didn't get our A's into G. Now I own my own house, I fear what other people think if they come over to my place. You open the door and it looks like a Chinese sweat shop. There is shit everywhere, it smells like cooking, my hair doesn't respond to hair products, I have pjamas on. Theres shoes all over the place, dishes in the sink, toys everywhere! Books thrown across the place. My stairs are like Mt Everest to climb, its so dangerous even Sir Edmund Hillary wouldn't attempt to climb it again. I know when my husband gets home, he's too tired to give a shit what the place looks like. He'll have his dinner and collapse into bed. So thats a plus... or is it. The days that I'm slightly motivated to clean, the house gets ravaged. I'll do everything including the windows. That moment of motivation only comes about every second Wednesday so... until then, don't come over. If you do come over, bring a peg for your nose and a blindfold. When the kids are in their teens my house will be SPOTLESS. You know why? Cuz, child labour is why we have kids isn't it? "I'll be home at 5:30 kids" "k whatever mum" "The house better shine like the top of the Chrysler building" "YES MS HANNIGAN" S x My son is a messy kid.
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About me
Sarah. Mother. Wife. Daughter. Adrenaline auto injectors are not funded in New Zealand, Please sign the petition to change this. Our family is affected by anaphylaxis as are so many others. You can make a difference!
Search through my old posts here
August 2016
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